Why I Only Focus On Connection
Have you ever tried to engage in a conversation with someone, and you felt like they weren't listening to you?
Have you felt like something's missing when it comes to your relationship?
Does it seem like you and your partner can't connect?
Do you feel lonely or misunderstood? You're not alone. Relationships are complex, and most of the time, we are focusing on the wrong things.
We are more disconnected from the people around us- than we have ever been before, which is not how we were meant to live.
Unhappiness is on the rise, and a lot of people are waking up to that bitter reality
The best relationships are not based on what I know about another person by looking at their social feed, but on what I am willing to accept and learn in order to learn to understand them.
We humans do not seek happiness- we pursue relationships that make us happy, no matter what it might look like on youtube and social media.
Therefore two of the most critical questions are; How do I connect with others and why should I?
Where to start
I've never talked to someone who wanted to be unhappy. Still, it's hard to find someone who is truly happy.
If I don’t want to live side by side with unhappiness but instead start to create thriving relationships, I must stop "managing people." and begin to interact with them.
This means accepting them as they are.
I must stop treating others how I want to be treated and instead start asking others how they want to be treated.
Human connections are the building blocks for all my future success.
Wanting people to like me is a waste of valuable energy that I could use to create a better version of myself instead.
My relationships are essentially an exchange of values, so if I don't know my values, it will cause problems in all my relationships.
If I don't know my values, I will have a hard time being vulnerable, which will create a lot of suffering.
My happiness is a by-product of successful relationships, and therefore I strive to create successful relationships
A good relationship is one in which we both feel fulfilled, with neither having to sacrifice our lifestyle for the sake of the other.
My brain is wired to create relationships with other people, and I have stopped fighting this fact.
I accept that I am driven by different roles i have picked up a long the way — something I feel I am supposed to be doing in life — rather than the content in my life.
I create relationships based on emotional connections and rules, creating a model that works for all parties involved.
I seek comfort and give it in relationships.
Life is about connections
The purpose of my life is not to work hard and try to achieve material success. Instead, I spend my life connecting with others.
Life is connections- connections are the only thing there is, both professionally and personally.
I may have landed a significant, prestigious job, but that job will be pretty miserable without emotional connections.
If I want to succeed, I have to connect with other people.
If I have no emotional connections, it will be hard to achieve great things or enjoy anything I might earn.
Successful relationships are a huge source of inspiration and motivation, helping me and others to feel in control, loved, and happy.
I struggled to find truly unique connections with people and partners —
Today, I know it does not happen without real effort!
Learning How To Connect
The first step to creating or repairing any relationship is learning how to connect, and that is done by listening, To myself and others.
When I share a deep emotional connection with someone else, I can overcome almost any issue that arises. It's when communication breaks down that most conflicts occur.
Communication plays a vital role in my relationships. Without an effective way to communicate, my relationships would suffer and eventually end.
Being a good listener doesn't mean that I agree with what the person is saying; it's about engaging, understanding, and showing that I am listening.
It may not sound like much, but this sense of engagement promotes connection, trust, and more profound understanding in any relationship.
Instead of worrying whether or not I agree with what a friend or partner is saying, I ask myself if I am truly listening to them.
Listening is both a skill, a mindset, and an environment I proactively create. It's easier to "hear" when I have created a distraction-free environment, to pause before speaking, when I am mindful (skill and mindset).
Listening to someone with an open heart can be challenging for my ego, but it is the best way to understand their point of view and show them that I accept them.
Sometimes it requires that I honor their feelings and sit with the discomfort without giving advice or saying anything.
I often catch myself trying to correct someone. Then I course correct when this happens by reminding myself of the purpose of the relationship.
I ask what they think about the situation and turn their concern into an opportunity for discussion.
Good listening is about being aware of when I interact with another person and when I am on an ego tour.
I don’t listen when I am distracted or disengaged from the conversation or the other person.
I don't listen when my mind is occupied with the next thing I want to say.
I listen when I acknowledge that people want to feel heard and understood.
I can often hear myself explain my positions with great passion and detail because I want to be accepted and validated for who I am.
When this happens, I know that I must look outside of myself and consider what the other is saying.
It's hard having different opinions. I often have the drive to know that I am correct and want to win, but when I am "winning," I am losing.
The only true victory is when I gain a deeper understanding of another human being.
I can learn from someone who thinks differently than me — someone whose perspectives may challenge me to see things in a new way.
I am constantly investing in relationships. I give them my time and energy, and when it goes wrong, it can sometimes feel like the world is crashing down on me.
I gently remind myself that It's okay to disagree because that's what relationships are about; constantly communications, growing, and course-correcting in hopes of understanding one another.
Connection— The Other Half Of Me
Connection is the other half of me, and it is the part I turn to when I don't understand myself.
They are the only living proof that I can be better, that my life can be better.
When the world is harsh, successful relationships remind me to be gentle and not push back.
They are the part of me that makes life worth living because they add meaning to my existence.
When I connect with someone they see me, and I see them. They see the light in my eyes when I have an idea.
They make me better. When I feel lost, they are the light on the horizon, giving me the courage to fight against adversity.
It is here I want to grow old, with someone who sees me for all that I am, most often better than I see myself.
In a connected relationship, I start to believe in a better tomorrow. It is a source of strength and hope during difficult times, The part of me that tells me I'll be okay.
I can feel pain in a connected relationship, but I don't suffer. I know it's alright. I feel listened to when I need a voice, and the relationship opens my eyes to who I am.
It makes me believe that anything is possible. It is my rock, a safe harbor when life gets hard. in uncertain times.
There are times when I feel heavy or burdened, and in those times, I'm grateful for the empathy. The support and comfort help me bear my burden in those moments, making it a little lighter.
Every smile, every laugh, every tear- you have seen it all, and you are there for my high moments and your low ones. I can trust you always to be the one who knows me best… … all of me and still love me.
I feel and hear your voice, grounding me in reality, bringing me down to earth.
For such a long time, there was a hole in my life. Then you came along with the power to make me whole again.
Today I can't imagine my life without successful relationships.
Summary
At our core, we are all connected; we all share the exact basic needs, emotions, and dreams. Sometimes we just get cut up in the sick game that plays out in the news, social media, and the internet.
We forget to listen with empathy, to understand that all people want to feel supported, confident, and valued.
So dear friend, listen — listen with empathy — before you speak.
At its heart, empathy means understanding. It means remembering that we're all human and all share the exact basic needs and emotions.
People are more alike than they are different — even if they come from other places or have different beliefs.
There is much need for change in society. We are quick to judge others and to make them feel hurt. Just because we have the right to think and feel a certain way doesn't mean it's right to express these feelings towards another human being.
I invite you to communicate with compassion and empathy. Let's look for ways to improve our lives by making someone else's lives better.
Everyone is human at the end of the day. We all want to feel seen and heard, so take a moment to pay attention before talking.
I face misunderstanding, miscommunication, and lack of understanding. This can make things awkward, but I will keep creating successful relationships until the day I die.
Human connection is when I choose to engage in vulnerable interactions, it is when I take responsibility for hearing, seeing, getting to know them, and making them feel valued.
I know that I have just connected with others if I feel better about myself or the world after I have been with them.
I wish the same for you, friend.
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