What Emotional Pain Has Taught Me
I spent years in a state of unwanted emotional pain without understanding or being able to explain it.
I spent years in a state of unwanted emotional pain without understanding or being able to explain it.
I displayed anger, anxiety, distress, and moodiness.
After several years of suffering I got fed up.
Something had to change.
My emotional pain had left a trail of invisible wounds, and it was now my job to find my way home.
When researching for this article, I was genuinely saddened by the search result I came across:
I can relate to this search result because for years, I tried to numb my emotional suffering.
Just to find myself in a destructive cycle.
I this article, I want to share a different understanding and approach to handling emotional suffering.
What Is Emotional Suffering?
Emotional suffering is the results of my resistance to the hurts I experience from non-physical sources.
Here is how I explain Emotional suffering to people:
Emotional pain+ My resistance = Emotional suffering
In the past, I was convinced that the origin of my emotional distress was the result of the things being "done to me."
In time I came to realize I was taking every event too personally.
I am not a target, and people are not out to get me — In fact, almost 80% of anyone's thoughts are about themselves.
Today I firmly believe that all comments or "personal attacks" are not directed at me.
People or situations are not the root cause of my emotional suffering. I am.
Yes, people get physically abused, and domestic violence is real.
I am NOT responsible for the abuse done to me, and I can't change that it happened.
What I can do, is to stop the resistance I carry around with me and reframe things differently.
Where Does Resistance Come From?
I can give birth to resistance from the inside or the outside.
From an "inside perspective," it results from rumination and the inner psychological dialogue I have with myself.
Resistance is any thought that diminishes my ability to take action in my life, limiting my ability to believe in myself and my skills.
From an "outside perspective," it is being done to me, life is something that happens to me, not for me, and my resistance creates most of my suffering.
Why Is Emotional Suffering Important?
I noticed a GAP between my perception and reality when I suffered the most.
These false perceptions led me to many costly mistakes, either through action or inaction.
The greater the gap between perceptions and reality, the higher the cost of the related mistake.
The saddest part is that I was unaware of my behavior.
Why? Because I didn't listen.
Emotional pain is one of the most important things to examine because it indicates my needs and desires.
Knowing what I want and don't want is one of the most empowering things to focus on if I want to design a peaceful and fulling life.
It is not possible to know myself if I numb or distract myself from the origins of my emotional pain.
If I don't address my emotional suffering, I am not living. I am merely tolerating my life.
Signs Of Emotional Suffering
When I experience Emotional pain, I can feel:
— Negative emotions
— Shame
— Panic
— Rage
— Worthlessness
— Deep sorrow, sadness, or depression
— Grief
— Intense distress
— Loneliness and isolation
Coping The Right Way
In the past, my emotional pain left me with severe physical pain and symptoms of pain throughout my body.
Leaving a detrimental impact on both my short-term and long-term mental well-being.
At first, my emotional pain caused me so much distress that I turned to unhealthy coping mechanisms, including food addiction and workaholism.
While these methods provided me with short-term relief, they were causing me more significant damage in the long run.
Some healthier ways I now use to manage my emotional pain include:
— Practicing mindfulness
—Non Judgement and Self-Compassion
—Reframing the situation
—Practicing boundaries
— Talking to someone
— Taking long walks
NOTE: if symptoms of emotional pain are causing significant distress or interfering with your daily life, talk to a mental health professional.
Summary
Life only happens now. When I get to the "future," it will be now.
Every time I enter a room, I look for resistance in myself and others.
The signs of emotional pain is a messengers of highly personal information.
Agitation, anger, anxiety, moodiness, withdrawal, or isolation from others are the mind and body ways of communicating with me.
I remind myself that feeling hopeless, overwhelmed, or worthless is all resistance signs.
I am focusing on all the wrong things and creating more emotional pain.
I treat myself with love and compassion every time I recall emotional pain and recognize that I create more suffering when I don't deal with my pain.
I take my time and treat myself like someone I love.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope this was helpful, and please share it with the world.
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